In the Beginning....

Well...here I go! I know that a lot of people blog on a variety of topics, and I've read a few, but I've never taken the time to actually do one myself. When do I have time to do anything? I work, go to school, run a household and care for my family. Always seemed like time was slower when I was younger. Now I blink and years have passed, or so it seems! Time...it just passes so quickly... there's just not enough of it!

I guess I have to truly thank Dana for her inspiring blog. She's the whole reason I even signed on here in the first place. She has tons of inserts on her beautiful family and the speacial moments of their lives. She has inspired me to so something similar, or at least get back into writing.

When I was in high school, I started writing a book, titled "For Those Who Smile" and thought it would be a fitting name for this blog. The title came from my smile and the reasons behind it. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I smile..a lot, but for a while, that smile was a permanent mask. Many would never guess the chaotic childhood I had because of that smile. That smile was so big, who could smile that big if life wasn't wonderful? (Guess I missed my calling into the acting world, huh?) I thought the title would be a tribute to those who smile on the outside while things are dark and painful on the inside.

My childhood was not horrible from day one. Born in 1981, I had a pretty regular childhood until my parents divorce in 1990. That marked the time in my life that things would change, and quickly. Again time, as I mentioned before, is an interesting thing. Over a 2 year period, which seems to pass me in the blink of an eye now, my life changed forever. Funny how after almost 20 years, you never quite shake it 100%.

I won't go into details, but I spent the next few years trying to figure out who I really was, not who I was told to be, and come to grips with the past and my inability to change it. Hard for a kid to do, but I did it. I remember being upset with God and having my faith falter. I could not understand how he would let bad things happen.

After the birth of my son in 2003, is when I think I really found myself and my way back to God. All of my past memories helped me be the person I am today and I am stronger for it. I have my own beliefs and have had my faith restored in God. I made a promise to myself and God that my child (or children if I have any more) would never feel the way I felt as a kid and never have to wear a smile that wasn't real.

OK...I guess that will do for my intro to blogging. Sometimes you just need to pound it out on the computer and get it all out. I feel better already!